Letters by Imams and Counselors
(swt) rewards us for rejecting shaytan's suggestions. The more shaytan tries
to deceive and misguide us, the stronger we have to be. You have done a wonderful
job thus far of trying to resist and we make du'a that you will continue to
In terms of trying to cope with the actual feelings, we suggest that develop a response pattern that can help you. Be alert as to when and where you are when these feelings come to you. Is it only when you are alone? Is it when you view television? Is it due to reading certain books or magazines? Do you just have feelings of emotional attachment to males or do you feel sexually aroused? Try to stay away from the sources of such excitement or arousal to the best of your ability.
Try to keep the company of pious Muslims. If you are in college, try to find some Muslim brothers who are strong in their faith and develop a friendship with them. One of the ways to keep from doing what is forbidden is to be in the company of those who are righteous. They do not have to know about your feelings, but it is better for you to not let yourself be alone such that you could be tempted to act upon your feelings.
Do your best not to be alone with men as sometimes shaytan has the ability to suggest to you the friendship of another evil person be he Muslim or not. We have the case of a young man who had homosexual tendencies and only acted upon them for the first time when another Muslim confided in him about his own homosexual tendencies.
Prepare yourself for marriage as soon as possible. Allah (Swt) and His prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) have encouraged marriage as it allows for, among other important things, the satisfaction of our sexual desires in a lawful way.
Seek refuge in Allah (swt) dear young brother. Continue to pray and be in constant remembrance of Allah (swt)."
· "Put your trust in Allah (swt) not just in speech but in your heart. Stop focusing on why your guy, try focusing on how to change the way you think. The power of the mind is a greatly unused tool that Allah (swt) has blessed us with. There are thousands of books written about the mind. If you change the way you program your mind to think, you will see that you can get through any obstacle. Let Allah (swt) guide you, open up your mind. Start loving yourself and learn how to control your actions/reactions to things."
"If people were born to commit homosexual acts, Allah who is most Merciful,
would not have destroyed Prophet Lut's community. These people had an opportunity
to change. They did not, and Allah destroyed them. This is a test Shaytan
puts in our way. A Muslim who develops homosexual desires, but does not act
on them must fast and seek the sincere help and guidance of Allah to turn
away from this lifestyle. S/he must also not dwell on these kinds of thoughts.
Which leads to the next point. Emphasize the importance of Islamic practice
in keeping these desires away: The only way we can truly protect ourselves
from homosexuality, whether it is in the development of feelings, or in the
actual sexual practice of it is to always remember Allah. Fasting in particular,
is useful in controlling lust, and recommends doing so on Mondays and Thursdays.
As well, we can point out that if a person is having these desires, it can
be a test from Allah, as well as an example of how Shaytan tries to turn us
away from Allah. Seek refuge in Allah from Shaytan by saying Aoutho billahi
minash Shaytan ir Rajeem (I seek refuge in Allah from Shaytan the accursed)
as well as reading Surah al Nas, the last Surah of the Quran, which mentions
the whispering of Shaytan."
"Homosexuality is a sin in Islam. You must do your best to seek refuge
in Allah (swt) to help you rid yourself of the homosexual tendencies. In addition,
you must rid yourself of any activities or memorabilia that remind you of
your homosexual tendencies. Do not visit sites on the Internet that promote
homosexual behavior. Keep yourself away from sites that discuss or promote
sexual behavior in general.
You have to learn about Islam and your duties and obligations towards Allah (swt). Abusing the time you spend on the computer will adversely affect your grades. In addition, contemplating homosexual behavior, reading and talking about it, or engaging in it are all sins in Islam. Spend time seeking forgiveness from Allah (swt) and ask Him to guide you and protect you from the homosexual tendencies. You are not a bad person for having these tendencies. You will be a much better person if you can do everything in your power to resist following shaytan's suggestions.
Should the homosexual tendencies become too much for you to bear, try keeping fasting as it curbs ones sexual appetite.